Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Day 6: Tough day

The first half of the day was quite peaceful. No cravings as such and basically all around good.

Then came the rest of the day! Went to the studio again but spent some more time. More time around my close friends who all happen to be smokers. I had cigarettes on one side and a sheesha/hookah pipe running on the other side. It got to the point where I could still taste the nicotine in the air when no one was smoking. I am not sure if I was imagining it or not but it was real enough to me.
I can't ask them to stop smoking on the account of me quitting. Fuck willpower right? No, I sat through it. As if in a dream a version of me in my mind kept saying "Hey man, pass me a drag". My brain started doing its bullshit again, wondering if hookah smoke contains tobacco and if it would be okay for me to take a hit. Here's a fact: hookah contains tobacco and nicotine. It may be in smaller amounts but it is there. Aside from that the flavours are amazing! If the chemical part isn't enough (and you will have people debate hookah's nicotine content), the physical act of smoking is still there. The physical act of smoking hookah is way more alluring than cigarette smoke. Sweet smelling smoke that comes out in clouds out of your mouth without hurting? Are you kidding me? I'll have some of that. You even have non-cigarette smokers who will smoke hookah.

It may work for that friend of mine who only smokes hookah and not cigarettes. It won't work for me. My brain remembers nicotine too well to be happy with hookah. I eventually left the studio, not taking a single puff of either cigarette or hookah. It wasn't easy. Like a dieter at a buffet. That's the next thing for me isn't it?

Well here's to today. Let's see what tomorrow feels like doing to me.

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