Friday, January 16, 2015

Day 3: Like the passing of trains

Last night I slept okay I guess. Woke up with a bit of a headache but got over it without smoking. The strange thing is that each morning I wake up feeling better about it only to encounter the craving later on.

Considering my situation through a bowl of cereal, I started to believe that this may be possible. I am not sure why I failed before but that is not an option this time. As I rode to work, the shivers came back. The shakes in my body, mild but existent, outlining my withdrawal. It is strange now because it is not consuming me. I am able to regard it much the way one might witness a passing train while sitting in a stationary one. As if it is there but does not affect me. This is how I see the addiction right now. Yes it rattles me but I can choose to let it pass me by.

Writing these posts do help me a lot. Sometimes I shall go back and read it and it shocks me to know that I felt a certain way but wasn't directly aware of it. Though I'd like to believe otherwise, I know it is not yet over as I feel the need to sleep wash over me. My eyes are crossing with the effort of fighting off the sleep. I soldier on with my promise to guide me. I may yet win this battle. I better win this battle.

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